Remember when Charlie Chaplain and his friend were starving in a cabin, and the friend started to hallucinate that Charlie Chaplain was a chicken? That can happen when you're birding, too. You forget to pack a lunch, and all of a
sudden that acorn woodpecker youre scoping starts to look like a delicious #1 special from Chicken Shack. You should resist the temptation, in that particular case, because acorn
woodpeckers taste like shit, but some birds actually taste pretty good. In some
cases, people will actuallygo out of
their way to eat them. That'll be the whole point of the expedition! It's not a
style of birding I know much about, but I've dabbled enough to put together this
handy guide for you. Bon apetit!
Chicken - This is
the best bird to eat, by a lot, and thousands of people agree with me. Chicken
is one of those rare things, like The Beatles, Goodfellas, and California, that
deserves its enormous popularity. But for a fat, flightless an ubiquitous bird, it's surprisingly
hard to catch--not because chickens are so nimble, but because they're all
either dead or inside some type of cage. There are about19,000,000,000 chickens in the world, and
almost every manmade structure you see has some chicken parts inside of it (think about that next time you're high on a plane!), but unless you want to
pay money for it (which is cheating), good luck getting your hands on one. Go
out into the woods and try to find a chicken right now. See? You didn't even
try, because you know it's too hard. Every chicken you see is "spoken
for." There are free roosters on craigslist sometimes, but they aren't as
good to eat.
Turkey - Turkeys
are a popular food source, too--Thomas alone consumes almost four tons of
turkey per year--and they're similarly dumb and defenseless, for the most part,
but there is a "wary and magnificant" variety of turkey--the "Wild Turkey"--that can
be found out in the woods, with a little patience and know-how. (Google it.) As
discussed in episode 4 of Dial B For Birder
("Stinson Beach"), Benjamin Franklin wanted to make the Wild Turkey
the official bird of the United States, but got out-voted by the other, less
goofy founding fathers. It's a good, thing too, because otherwise turkey would
be "bad to eat," for patriotic reasons, like the bald eagle.
California Quail -
You could argue that the quail is bad to eat for patriotic reasons, if you're Californian,
but I would counter-argue that the whole point of being a Californian is doing
whatever you want, all the time. I've only eaten half a quail over the course
of my entire life, but it was really good. My friend shot it with a bb gun and
cooked it up for breakfast, and I still admire him for it.
Duck - If you
ever become a golden gate park wook, this is going to be your main source of
food. Just glue a rubber duck to your hat, submerge yourself in pond water from the hat down,
creep up as close as you can, and GRAB EM BY THE LEGS!! Muscovey ducks are not as
tasty, but you get more meat.
Do YOU know how magnets work, shithead? That's how I feel
about people who make fun of Insane Clown Posse. Like bros, vegans and DJ's, ICP has become a go-to target for people for unfunny people who think they're funny.
Even Troma movies make fun of them, and
Troma fans (pointing at myself) are some of the most contrarian, unfuckable
people on the planet.
I don't listen to ICP (except Chicken Huntin', I Want My Shit, Thy Unveiling, and The Neden Game. And Bitches) but I often find myself drunkenly
defending them to people at bonfires. Their
music might be grating, and they might make too many sex puns, but at the end
of the day ICP is funnier and more interesting than 95% of the people making
fun of them--and they have better taste in music, too is the gist of
my arguement. It's rare for me to take the "anti-hater" position like
that, but for some reason I always felt strongly about it. This book, given to
me by Nyquil after he lost my copy of SWEET JONES: PIMP C'S TRILL LIFE STORY, proves that these feelings are valid.
Raised on the sultry nocturnal sounds of Esham, Sir Mix-A-Lot,
Geto Boys and Awesome Dre, The Insane Clowns are wiggers of the most endearing
sort. They're wiggers from a time before the internet, when kids were beat up
and socially alienated for being wiggers. It was a lot harder to copy black
culture then. You couldn't just buy a Cam'ron shower curtain and start saying
lit. As an unpopular person and obscure regional rap afficionado myself, I
found this "early years" section of this book--usually the most
tedious part of an autobiography--to be fascinating.
One problem with the book, which I'm remembering as this
review gets longer and longer, is that it's too long. If you include the
annotated discography, and the "what Psychopathic records means to
me" section at the end (by everyone on the Psychopathic records roster), it's
596 pages. I suspect that the book wasn't "written" so much as
dictated by Violent J, while he was high, and this technique makes for hilarious
reading ("I was like, 'Whoa, this is
the shit! Slash likes my song! The chick he fucks likes it, too.'") but
600 pages of reminiscince is a lot from any man. If I was the editor, I'd probably cut some
of the wrestling stuff. And give it a better cover.
Ratings-wise, I have no choice but to give this 1/1 stars. BEHIND
THE PAINT was funny, inspirational and full of rap gossip, and how much more
can you demand from a book? You want it to have a neden?
so you are going to hate this and I think I hate this too, but it's
super interesting and worth talking about! The song starts out with a
solid verse from our friend Wicca Phase Springs Eternal and then it
hits: probably the weirdest delivery I have ever heard. It sounds like this
guy is actively crying and also cannot touch his lips together. This got
me thinking about how people make music today and its effect on the
music that is created. Can you imagine if this guy existed in the 90s?
Chances are he would never record music and if he wanted to he'd have to
rent studio time and there would be an engineer or producer of some
type there that would tell him "No! Stop doing that with your voice!
That's bad!" But instead this guy can just do weird stuff with his voice
in his room on his laptop and release it to the world. The result is A
LOT more music out there and a lot of it is boring or bad, but there is a
greater opportunity now for truly unique and different sounds to
emerge. The internet is pretty rad IMO.
Drippin So Pretty
Drippin So Pretty is
a new to me rapper that writes songs almost exclusively about being in
love and shooting heroin (take a min to process that please).
SONGS ARE DOPE. This beat is really insane, there is so much going on
here. When the bass drops at :25 it's so good! When I first heard this
song I got super stoked on it and emailed it to Jesse and he replied by
saying he "hopped off the rap train at mumble station", which made me
think he might secretly be 48 years old.
can't quite figure out what he is saying for the hook, either "I don't
fuck with lil shorty, she ain't right for me" or "I don't fuck with lil
shorty, she don't ride for me." The more I listen to it the more I think
it's the latter, but I'm going to go with the former because it makes
the song 100X more endearing.
SONGS. SHORT SONGS. SHORT SONGS. I legit get upset when I see songs
within this genre that are like 3:30 plus. Real rude of the artist to
assume a high-powered businessman such as myself has that kind of time
opinion: I like the cheesy tire screech sound effect in this song.
Anyways, I like the melody and soul in this song.
production of this song is so warm and soft, it feels like my ears are
getting a big hug. Also this beat is so layered, I keep picking up on
different elements, like the subtle guitar strumming that comes in @
:56. There's a lot of song here in around two and a half minutes. I
appreciate that Bladee utilizes his autotune to do something interesting
for the chorus. For most of his songs the autotune sounds like it is
just there to distance him from real life, because I think he legit has a
good singing voice.
is the "lead single" off the latest album and it took me a while to get
into, maybe because I was distracted by the music video? I highly
recommend people listen to songs for the first time without the visuals,
to get an actual opinion of the music before watching the video. There
is nothing worse than sending a video of a song to your friend and they
come back at you with "wow, what a silly hat he has on!" Or maybe I
should just accept the importance of visual aesthetics in music and how
they are forever intertwined. IDK.
Jesse has accused me of only liking depressing rap and he is only 90% correct. Here is part of the 10%:
WARNING: don't watch this music video! Forget everything I wrote above
and don't let your eyeballs taint this song. Hella Sketchy is a rapper
that makes extremely light and catchy rap songs. He also looks like a 15
year old kid that I instinctively want to stuff in a locker. But dang
this song is so catchy!!! Also it is that rare breed of song that is
super poppy, but does not wear thin immediately. I have been listening
to this song for over a year and still think it is tight.
watch this music video either! It is chopped up clips from the "Spent a
Check" music video. This beat is great though. I was talking to Jesse
in person about this one, trying to figure out what the production
sounds like. I think we settled on a Nintendo tropical paradise.
More Lil Peep
Do you remember last post
where I was talking about how Lil Peep released so much music before
his death and I'm amazed how I keep discovering new songs of his? Well
just since writing that last post I have discovered two more songs that I
vibe of this song is so sick. It sounds like I am listening to
something real important. I feel bad for the feature, because this beat
is huge and Peep always layered the shit out of his vocals, so Wulf's
verse sounds oh so meak. Hellboy is such an interesting album
and I have come to really enjoy it after being initially turned off by
some of its cringey moments. Peep's angst is going to sound bad to some
listeners, but there is a lot of interesting moments, and wonderful
expressions of his emerging pop sensibility.
Hey speaking of pop sensibility, this song is super catchy! Very enjoyable 2 minute plus track
that always leaves me in a good mood. I have a lot to say about the
feature, Yung Bruh/Lil Tracy, but we'll save that for next post.
Ok that's all for now. Remember, you get what you give in this life, so don't walk around being a selfish shithead.
Hi fans, hope you're having an ecstatic, passion-filled summer. I don't know about you, but for me, summer is one of the very best seasons we have, after fall (school supplies!), winter (candy canes!) and possibly spring (daylight savings time! Plus everyone's favorite holiday, May Day). Sometimes, though, it's important to take a break from all the hot summer action, and take the bus to work while you listen to a podcast. It can be hard sometimes, because there are only 6 good podcasts (Hollywood Handbook, The Great Debates, Pushermania's Playlist, Bookworm with Michael Silverblatt, So Many Shrimp Radio and this one...and some Jesse Thorn stuff, if the interviewee isn't an actor or comedian), and most of them have erractic release schedules. This podcast is one of those. But today, at least, your thirst will be quenched. For this episode, Thomas and I went to "The Point" in Stinson Beach, CA (you might remember it from an old, since-deleted blog post I wrote called "BIRDERS AT THE POINT"), to look for a Bald Eagle family that recently moved into town. Then we went to Audubon Canyon Ranch, off of Highway 1, to splash around in the newt pond.
Photos, videos, and other relevant bird media---including Thomas' scary Shoebill Stork video--after the jump.