Thursday, June 14, 2018



Noel: Why won't you return my caws?

Paul: I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if we rub out cloacas together and I discharge my sperm into you, your egg's not going to fertilize and you'll see that I'm not the gull you want me to be.

Noel: I don't want you to be anything. I'm already in love with the gull that you are. 

Paul: Then tell me again. Whisper it towards my inner ear structure. 


Paul: The first time I had sex, I was three months old, and it was in a McDonald's parking lot with this older gull I didn't know. When we were finished... I nervously tried to kiss her ...and I accidentally tapped that little red dot on her beak and she threw up in my face. We never spoke again.

*Dramatic Pause*

I just wanna make sure that a couple years from now, I can still see you up close, and we'll still have a million things to say.

Noel: HUOH-HUOH-HUOH!!!!!! HUOH!!!!


Paul: Hey, do you know why we're called seagulls?

Noel: Shhh.... 

1 comment:

  1. About a month ago I watched a documentary about pelicans in the Bay Area and fell asleep 5 mins in... this movie sounds much better.