Tuesday, June 6, 2017


Here it is, No One Dies Forev-ers, as promised: a new Tuesday post. If you haven't heard, because you're not Facebook friends with me--if you're one of those fake fans like Thomas, who talks to me on the phone and eats lunch with me in real life, but won't sign up for Facebook, even when I need the "likes" real bad--this is the new blog schedule I've announced: One post every Tuesday. I'm going to be so consistent with this blogging that it will eventually become a source of reassurance for you, the way a good blog should, and when I find myself unable to post some future Tuesday you're going to have a Cathy-level freakout. 
Today, I'm going to tell you about some of the birds you can find at Stinson Beach, CA's "The Point"--that dangerous spot on the outskirts of town where the sand starts to get Bolinas-y, and the moist, glistening waters of Bolinas Lagoon rub up against the fishy, cavernous cloaca of the Pacific, like these bodies of water were two falcons having sex underwater. It's like that beach in the movie THE BEACH, but better.
I went birding there this last May 15th--the day after Mother's Day--with my Mother and the family dogs. (You might think it's a bad idea to bring your dogs birding with you, but in this case the birds were safely across the shark-infested water in Bolinas, on the sand bars, and on Kent Island.)

Bella (left) and Indie (right), hanging out in L.A. with my little
sister's demon dog, Kingsley. Kingsley wasn't there for this.

The Point.


Fortunately for this "scene report," my Mother (who I like to call "Mother," to be creepy) is a very knowledgeable birder who also owns a spotting scope. We couldn't stop scoping birds!!!! 
Here's what we found:

Snowy Egrets and Great Egrets

The snowy egret is sort of the "flagship bird" of the area. As always, this time of year, they were up in the Bolinas treetops, bullshitting with each other and doing mating dances, like me and my friends when we used hang out in the Stinson Beach trees.
My memorial t-shirt for the Stinson Beach "Go Dog Go Tree."


And who should we see hovering jealously close by but a couple of "Great" Egrets. We identified them by their ugly yellow beaks.

Caspian Tern


The Caspian Tern is easily identified by its mod haircut and striking papaya-colored beak. It reminded me of that book PRINCE CASPIAN, which my Mother read to me and my siblings when we were little, but I couldn't remember anything that happened in it. I do remember interrupting her a lot when she was trying to read us the last chapter ("THIS IS A THINLY-VEILED CHRISTIAN ALLEGORY!!!") and being sent to bed early. But then I hid behind the kitchen counter so I could find out how it ended. Fuck you, Mother! 

White Pelican


A wonderful bird is the White Pelican
His orange beak can hold more than his white belly can 
The hue of his physique
Holds a certain mystique 
In this way, he reminds me of Yellowman. 

This is one of the slightly rarer pelicans.

Double-Crested Cormorant



In case you're confused about what a crest is, it's that thing where a bird has a tuft of feathers sticking out of its head. As you can tell from my helpful drawing, double-crested cormorants don't always rock the crests, but they do (both sexes do) during breeding season. Just like me, again! (An old-fashioned prince hat with a feather in it is the new giant foam cowboy hat, according to my pickup artist friend, Shadow.) This bird has a very pissed-off look about it that is appealing to me. It reminds me of my Mother, when I got her a certificate for a hug this last Mother's Day. 




This drawing doesn't look like an osprey at all, but I still like how it turned out.

Great Blue Heron


*AIRHORN* *AIRHORN* (Don't play your airhorn around the birds, though!!!) 

Cliff Swallow




This had the potential to be a great drawing. But, as my Mother likes to say: "Take a handful of potential and handful of polenta, and tell me which one people want when it's dinnertime." Irregardless, the cliff-swallows themselves are beautiful. It's hard to tell when you're out in the field, because they're small and fast (and you're drunk usually), but maybe if you look at a different drawing of one you'll get it. 

OK, bye!! 

1 comment:

  1. This is the most thorough post about birding I will ever read in my lifetime. Great pics!