Saturday, May 27, 2017


The day started off like any other Vancouver day: with a beam of sunshine reflecting off the surface of my crystal sleeping medallion, brightening the shade of my eyelids just enough to rouse me from a trippy dream. I stretched, meditated, and smoked a joint, and the clock had just struck 6:00 AM when my live-in clarinet teacher Jingfei knocked on the door, with a piping hot salmon roe benedict in hand. (With a nice hot dollop of salmon cum on top of it! Just kidding, just kidding. But isn't that just as weird, in a way?)
"I've got some delicious breakfast here, if anyone's interested" said Jingfei. 
"I am" I said, taking the bait (!)
We sat down at my bedroom breakfast table and breakfasted.
"Did you see JOHN WICK 2 yet?" I said.
It was a stupid question, but stupid questions are my bread and butter. ("You guys following what's going on in Syria? No? You guys see JOHN WICK 1?") I have "resting serial killer face," so I always have to keep the conversation going, to keep my face from resting, and a lot of the time the only way to keep the conversation going is with a stupid question.
"No" said Jingfei, in a tone that implied the answer was obviously no, she didn't see JOHN WICK 2.
"Me neither" I said.
A thick, milky silence settled over us, like fog in the movie THE FOG. You ever see THE FOG?
"..." I muttered. My mind was fog-like, too. Everything was foggy. I didn't know what to do about Jingfei and I's relationship. It was like a road trip through Central America: We started off in Sexico, and went south, fast. Daughtermala was next, I feared, or Sonduras. Then, permanent Bickeragua. No me gusta, amigo! 
We were supposed to go birding together today. I'd wanted to hit up the park, to find a white-crowned sparrow (which is a very common bird, as you may know if you're not an idiot, but that suits my birding style just fine). 
The White-Crowned Sparrow
The white-crowned sparrow has brownish wings and a dull grey breast in real life (great color scheme!), but the crown color you see in this notepad sketch is accurate. You can differentiate it from it's brethren, the golden-crowned sparrow, by looking at its crown and remembering this saying: "If the top of the sparrow's head is white, it's a white-crowned sparrow, all right. If the top of the sparrow's head is golden, that's a golden-crowned sparrow you've beholden."
"Are we still going to the park?" I asked Jingfei.
"There's a sparrow right there, in the backyard" she said. 
White-crowned sparrows are so common that they can be found in your backyard, in some cases.

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