Friday, February 17, 2017

ME AND MY CRAZY FRIENDS


It was me, Scott ScotScott t E., Scott McMamamam, and Scott McMamamam's dad, Rat McMamamam. We were drinking Barefoot Wine in the McMamamams' living room, talking about how none of us besides me had ever left Vancouver. (Vancouver WASHINGTON, I'm talking about here. The Couve.) I made a joke about how everyone in town wanted them all to leave, because they were so annoying, and Scott was like good, let's leave.
"GOD DAMMIT" screamed Rat. "My father died here, I'm gonna die here, and my son's gonna die here. And if he doesn't like it, HE's gonna die here!!"
Everyone laughed.
"Uh..." said Scott McMamamam.
"Hell yeah" said Scott E.  
I just sat in my chair and fell asleep. I was still sore from all the pushups I'd done on Valentine's Day. But as I slept, I dreamt. I dreamt I was a hawk, standing on the ground, eating birdseed. My brain was excited, and focused. The chase of the seed was even better than the seed itself. Because of this, I reasoned, with my simple brain, I could be happy forever. Seed. Seed. Seed. Seed.
When I awoke, I was alone. Everyone had left. Why did the McMamamam's leave me alone in THEIR house? There was probably a prank going on, I reasoned. I looked around the room, knowlingly. No dice. Hm I thought, and I drove home and went to bed, again.
The End, right? Nope. The next afternoon, when I awoke, Rat McMamamam and the Scotts were standing over my bed, laughing at me! Turns out that while I was asleep at the house that first time, they drove to Montana, on a whim, and had a little adventure. Now they wanted to move to Montana. "We just came back to get our stuff" said Scott E. "We never realized how much it sucked here, and how great it was in other places. We didn't know any better."
"Uh.." I said.
And sure enough, they all moved away. I had to make 3 new friends.

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