Friday, January 27, 2017


A lonely writer moves into a seaside cottage to finish his novel. It's going badly at first, but then one morning, he sees a chapter that he doesn't remember writing sitting there in his typewriter. Assuming he wrote it in a blackout (cause he's a bit of a lush), he leaves it in the typewriter and builds off it...Hey, this stuff is pretty good! This goes on for a while (montage song: "Paperback Writer," no matter how much it costs) until one day he realizes that the author of these secret chapters of his book is actually THE TYPEWRITER ITSELF. It's a magical typewriter, containing the soul of a dead romantic novelist. AND IT'S IN LOVE WITH HIM!! At first, the news is hard to take, but then the writer decides to try and make it work. They can't have a relationship in the traditional sense, but he can still kiss the typewriter, and the typewriter can write him erotic notes while he jacks off.

A handsome doctor falls in love with an ugly girl who comes into his office to get facial reconstruction surgery. At first, the doctor's psyched about this, because it's an opportunity to give this down-to-earth girl a hot barbie doll face. Best of both worlds, right? But on the day of the surgery, he has a change of heart, and decides the ugly girl doesn't need a new face after all. He loves her just the way she is. You can see where he's coming from, too, because she's not even that ugly.

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